Monday, January 26, 2015


I wish we could all just be OK with not being in love with someone the same way they are with us and via versa. Deal with it & keep life moving. At least be loving & care not to waste someone's time. Let them find something real. People are selfish though, aren't we? We want the validation someone could care for us madly, so we float in their goodness, even if we don't reciprocate, we soak it up & take, take, take...and we allow ourselves on the other side to continue giving more goodness than is warranted because we either hope for something bigger, or we care so much about that other person we are for a time OK with giving and giving. It's like The Giving Tree, until only a stump to rest upon remains & we care so much, we're happy for the company.
Y'all. No more settling. No more giving so much without reciprocity. I've got rad friends & family. I'd rather give my giving to them. I love them, they love me. I'd rather read books & take a country drive singing at the top of my lungs alone & create friendships of substance sans romance. Have friend dates, because dates are fun & a reason to dress up is always acceptable to me. This lil' hearts, guarded. It's going to take a mighty man to move from friend to more...and I'm happily content to saturate in all the goodness of conversations with many.  Flirting with quite possibly any...the simple, carefree bliss of security in no more heartbreaks for awhile...especially not over guys who never really got just how amazing I am anyway, even if I put my whole effort into reminding them of their best parts. 

I know I'm getting all ranty, but...It's just...things don't always have to lead to something. The single world post 30 is weird & either thirsty for a relationship or so happy to hop from one body to the next a relationship can't ever form, nor is really wanted in many cases. Why would you want responsibility & accountability when easy is so widely available? Can we just be friends? Is that like a thing? Can we flirt & treat each other like we're the shit and not bang...or maybe bang but still not have expectations until there are actual big feelings (I get it, we shouldn't bang without feelings... sometimes feelings are relevant even if they aren't "Omg, Marry me!" & sometimes, you just want to bang & with someone you care about, not a dickweed moving from body to body, using life & the people in it to fill & fill some place that can't be filled... I have no judgements, you make your choices, I make mine). Can we be adults & have respectful adult conversations? Make our wants unashamedly known & own our choices, good, bad, or otherwise? Give people room to do the same?

Be loving. Even if we aren't in love...
Is that a thing? Am I the only one who just wishes we could be authentic more often about where we are, even if that's different from one another? If we really care we'll catch up, or spread appropriate wings & really isn't caring what matters? Like, making someone fit a role we want for them which they may not want isn't caring, nor is playing the part of some role because you want the benefits.

Inspiration for this rant bright to you by:

Loving or In love?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your virtue is the essence of your worth as a woman. Who and when you share that dictates a man's opinion of you. If you want to be loved, you have to love yourself first. Be honest with yourself, as every man you came across with isn't the negative you mention.

Love is imperfect and sometimes unkind. If you find someone willing to stick it out, then commit. When we feel deserve better, sometimes we give up what is needed most.

Good luck to you, seek first you heart and true treasure.