Wednesday, January 07, 2015

My dearest village...

Thought catalogue has done it again! So much goodness in hindsight. I'm thankful for being a late bloomer in the dating world & for the adventures with my lifelong DGB girls, friends since middle & high school & all of the amazing, completely platonic gay & straight male friends who live with respect for friendship & for me. I'll be honest, I'm a lil' misty thinking on such bountiful blessings regardless of how romance has turned out or will turn out. It's good to know and like yourself well & to have a huge group of people who remind me in their strong relationships that it's possible to find the right thing & also that if I don't it's possible to be happy & carefree with a future void of steady companionship- that the zeal for life and hunger for experience isn't only quenched with the picture of what growing old "should" look like, rather in living every day from now till then complete in the vulnerability and comfort of friends & family. There's not much such intensely deep relationships lack that any single person needs. Thanks for being people who help ward off desideratum with texts, calls, unexpected snail mail, hugs, flowers, offers to take out the trash, set the clocks back, blow up the air mattress, answer the phone in the wee hours of the night & let my heartbreak be ugly in front of you...clear your schedules & drive hours to spend just a little time in the comfort of longevity that our friendship has afforded us in life. I honestly couldn't be happily single without most of you... It takes a village to let the one who is alone settle into life lacking lonely. Man, I'm one very lucky girl to have y'all!

Sometimes tears and sad come on like a flash flood because it's normal for loss to stick with you. I've had moments in the last three years that I didn't know if I cared to "keep swimming" & lacked direction, purpose, care for much of anything. I've looked the loss of my faith & much of the stability it afforded in the face & although I've not & probably never will have that part of life comfortably at peace, it's not so ugly & neither am I in the way the anger of losing that manifests itself. Disappointment has taught me that hope is profound & expectations are unfair... usually self serving. Losing in love has honed the ability to listen to my gut & that it's OK to be selfish in some ways. Steadfast friends have truly taught me unconditional in a way I didn't understand I was worthy of. So, thanks. It's such a small word but certainly carries a depth of gratitude I can't express another way.

Sound thoughts at any age of single. Anyone have more to add or want to remind me why I'm awesome for the days I would really like to hear it from someone other than myself?

Thought catalogue inspiration:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/koty-neelis/2015/01/17-older-women-on-the-one-thing-they-wish-they-knew-about-dating-in-their-20s/

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