Thursday, June 26, 2008

My soapbox of thoughts...

The TV fast is going really good. I haven't even really missed it because I've been so busy. I am coming to understand more about being in relationship with Christ all the time everyday. I realize that our walk will forever be growing...that if Christ revealed to us all that we need to do to be more like Him at the point of "salvation" our heads would explode. I mean if I knew all at once all the things I am not doing "right" or need to be better at doing...I would feel so overwhelmed and defeated. Not the case. We have an AWESOME CREATOR that wants to continue creating us. He's not finished at the point of salvation or even sanctification...he's only beginning. I just love that thought. It's so freeing to have the mindset that every church service is to worship him. To bring him my everything. Every sermon is to grow and learn...in effect, it's for me. Every altar call, ever offer for repentance is to get me closer to Him...too often it's seen as such a negative thing. It's so condemning or just an avenue for judgment to go to the altar. Especially depending on what the message was about. No. The altar is like the dining table and we come to feast with our King. I'm just so rested and at the same time engaged and recharged.

The thing I understand better on sin is that we really can live sin free lives. I mean, I've believed this before in that I don't think God would send his son to die for us if we were only going to be able to know him more fully in his glory in heaven. It's for here too. But, I didn't understand what that meant. I get it. It's like every time we have a chance to sin and we take it there are actions or conscience (Holy Spirit) moments along the way where we know we should not do whatever, but if we choose to do it...we sin. Like lately, I'm trying to really be aware of God's presence in my food choices. I know I should not choose to go get a burger at McDonald's. For the general public maybe eating a hamburger is not a sin...or maybe it is if our body is a temple...but that's a whole other issue. All I know is that right now, God is trying to train me in a healthier choice selection...I have to listen for that. It happens all the time. If I were to choose to eat a hamburger, I would have to get in my car (He would be speaking), I would have to drive to the McDonald's, I would have to order my burger, pay for my burger, get my burger, unwrap my burger, PRAY FOR MY BURGER (Yes, I know you've been telling me this whole time that I should not get the burger, but would you please bless it to my body?) and then eat my burger. At the point which I choose to actually eat the burger I am sinning. I just think that's so profound to think about...how God chases us the whole way to our sin. I have conditioned myself to not listen if I don't want to. To make the choice I want.

I've also been thinking on the concept of Christians sinning. Can that really happen? Nick asks me that all the time and I usually stare at him like a lost dog...like, How the heck should I know the answer to such a question. He adamantly says, "No." all the time and I never really got that. But I have been thinking about it in terms of God can have no part with sin...and sin separates us from God. If Christ is living in us and God is part of Christ, then Christ can also have no part in sin. So at the point we choose to sin, does the Christ in us have to turn away? I would think so. I also think that's why when we are thick into sin we want God so deeply to rescue us. We are so void of his presence in the saturated way that we have Him when we are living in Him, that we yearn for that again while he has to turn away. We want him to turn back, to be with us...but if we are still sinning, he can not. He can forgive us, yes, but he can't just be there with us while we disgrace him. These are all just thinks I'm thinking on...not fully understood or developed even into totally rational thoughts...just thinks...that's all.

On Marriage...
Nick and I are doing excellent. I love him more everyday, and more everyday I just see a little bit more of Christ in him...which makes me want more of Christ in me too. It's not always that way, but it is now and it has been for awhile, so I'M ENJOYING IT! (And, it's taken a year to come to understand how to enjoy it...marriage is very binding. It's taken some time to figure out who Mind Jones is...because she's a little different than Mindy Spencer. I happened to like Mindy Spencer. I also now, happen to like Mindy Jones as well. :)) Marriage is so different than I thought it would be...harder. I honestly love it though. OH, I know this is long...sorry, suck it up. I've been thinking about all the people that are getting divorced or separated these days...some that have been married for a year or less and some that have been married for 50 years. I think about how often media makes it look so easy to just choose to separate...like it's a high school relationship you can just take a break from. And, divorce is becoming equal to "breaking up." People think this is to hard, I can't do this and then they have people telling them "You're right, you shouldn't be treated like that." or, "You don't have to put up with that." Abuse is obviously not ever ok. BUT, for the most part...problems happen. You aren't treated, nor do you treat your spouse the same as when you were dating. Life happens and things are harder. Pressures are bigger. But to all those people that get on these rants that it's ok to walk away. I want to tell them they are wrong! Divorce is not an option. Period. Divorce happens too much because people don't like being married. Um, the bible never says it's going to be easy at all. I don't care if you don't like it. Figure out a way that you do like it. Work on yourself and your marriage. Don't just leave. I mean for real. I don't LIKE working out, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't do it. Sometimes I don't like being a Christian because it's hard too, but that doesn't mean that I just choose to walk away from God all together. I think our culture and especially kids our age have gotten so accustomed to doing what we enjoy and having the world our way that we don't know how to be married and give more to someone else than we understand. We just quit and move on until we find something we think will be better. NO, we make what we have better! Ugh, sorry to get on that rant, but I was thinking about it in the car today and it was just making me sick. The kids to come are going to have no sense of what marriage looks like...they will have no trust that marriage is forever. And, the kids of our generation have no one fighting for their marriages. No one telling them their marriage will work or that they are believed in. We have hardly any role models ourselves. Man, I wish Nick was home. I just wanna hug 'em and tell him how thankful I am for him...ya know? That if I knew what I know now, I'd pick him all over again.

Monday, June 23, 2008

A still and quiet week.

Since Nick will be gone until Friday, and we got rid of cable. I've decided to start my TV fast sooner rather than later. It'll be interesting since Nick's not home to keep that company turned off. I'm deciding on better company...Jesus.



We just got back from the Cross Style (http://www.crossstyle.com/) conference in TN and I've gained better insight on a few things. It's time to take some time and rest in Him. To understand what I've come to remember a little bit better and to be more alert of His presence. I understand the truth in the ability of Christ in us to never sin again. I've heard that before and I thought about it as a logical thing...that it makes sense that we would be able to be free of sin on earth, or Christ's death was for nothing. I mean, why would God send his son only to fully free us from sin SOMEDAY, when we get to heaven? I also came to better understand (or maybe a way of better articulating) salvation as a whole, the importance of being a treasure...and treasuring others.


All of these things I'll blog on this week at some point...for now, I'm just going to go spend a little time with my Jesus...