Friday, August 25, 2006

We are the body.

I am a lot broken and a lot disappointed with myself today. I need to apologize to this mom at my church and I didn’t do it last night. I didn’t see her to, and I will on Sunday, but it is a great bother to me. It probably is something that she’s over because she gets it a lot…but that is totally beside the fact that I need to. Her son, the previously discussed misfit in my VBS group had a great night on Wednesday and I told her so. She was already aware because he had gone RUNNING, not walking or skipping or even run-walking, but full out running to her and shouted as she embraced him, “MOM, I WAS A GOOD LISTENER TONIGHT, AND MISS MINDY IS SO PROUD OF ME!” I said, “Yes, he was a great listener.” She smiled larger and I added “Well, he was a great listener for Ben.” Her heart sank, I saw it. I should have apologized right then but for whatever chicken reason I didn’t. She smiled again and said “Yeah.”

Last night we had the most important story of the week the Jesus’ love for us through death story. The teachers had gotten really into all of the stories, but for this one they had built a cave like thing for the kids to crawl through and turned the lights down low. As the kids got to the dark hall the teacher said “No guards followed you did they? We have to be really careful. The caves are a safe place, but they can be dangerous.” All the kids were so into the scene. We crawled through. Ben was a bit wiggly all week, so I brought him a pillow to sit on (sometimes they can act as a little anchor for a wiggly kid). He was still wiggly, but confined his wiggles to the pillow. He asked me (a little loudly because he can’t hear very well right now and is going to have another surgery to help fix the problem). He’s curious. He wanted to know what our next event was. The teacher did not appreciate that. He has no patience for Ben and if it were any other child who had made one mistake that night it would have been over looked, but on this, the first mistake he said “MINDY, could you take him to the hall, he’s just too much of a distraction.” I did. As I crawled out of the room through the “cave” I was humbled. Ben asked to go potty and I told him he could. Then, I sat in the dark hall and began to cry and pray. It broke my heart that in that setting Ben doesn’t have a chance. He doesn’t even get a chance to hear the Good News because he’s Ben.
I asked the Lord to forgive me for my of kilter compliment the night before, but more than that I pleaded that the church as a living body of Christ would embrace rather than shun the people of God who come to us. The building will never offend, but we as a body do. I cried because I want my church to be the one place that gives Ben the grace he deserves! I want this because it’s when I’m with the misfits like Ben that I look into the face of Christ. I put to practice all the things that make it hard to be Christ-like. I use them without such ease. I am reminded that being Christ-like isn’t about what’s easy, it’s about love. It’s about looking into that wiggly kid’s one good eye with a misshapen pupil and smiling at him. It’s about seeing his smile…his perfectly made smile which often comes from a head tilted to one side and knowing that Christ is smiling too. May we be a body that has more patience and recognizes that the other kids are used to his “distracting” and tune it out…unless we point it out. May we give him and every other person who comes through the doors a home that invites the imperfect places in with a graceful ease…myself included.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Two for the price of one. :)

I'm Learning.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
I'm learning
I'm learning so much.
I'm learning that to be around little people who are learning sparks the curiosity in myslef which leads back to Jesus with an innocence only found in the ease of not questioning the "big stuff". I'm learning that the "smelly kid in class" who can't concentrate and would rather be distracting other more well behaved children can be a good leader if given a marika and told others are watching his example. I'm so learning that that same kid smiles with his whole face if you let him sing loud and jump up and down in worship. Huh. Only one day of VBS and already I am learning so much.
I'm learning that when we come to Christ pleading for an outlet...a place to give rather than recieve we are filled to an over-abundance. Given more than we ever went looking for and able to offer more than we thought we had. I'm learning with a fluid sort of ease what it means to let other people dictate my schedule and the excitement which comes in doing so. I'm remembering what it is to be a bold start up the new and also invite the old. I'm learning that seekers are everywhere and the only way they will ever find is if we are willing to invite them to really look. OH, I AM LEARNING...

The Grace that is me.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Oh to grace how great a debtor...yeah, that's me.
Today I was walking at work and thinking what a great day it is...I get to wear my new Chuck's to work (with a cute jean skirt and a striped shirt with a yellow's for sure a summer outfit that says "FUN!"), I was checking out how blue the sky is and noting how great the warmth of the sun felt. "It's a good day." I told myself with a smile. Obviously, something in me needed to be the next seconds I crashed our agency bus into the garage as I was backing out and took the passenger side mirror OFF. Blah. Such is life.
Just makes me smile all the more though that I'm lucky in so many other areas and am learning how to be more purposeful amidst the chaos (to steal "Artsy Smartsy's" line) "this side of 25." I'm working VBS this week, helping with a coffee shop @ Jen's church, starting up a bible study for other thirsty girls and will be also speaking to Jen's youth group. What a blessing it is to know that when the ache of our heart is to serve the Lord is faithful to provide more means than we can handle if we just open our hearts and ears to what might be so readily accessable. YES! That's flippin' sweet. And, I just might do whatever I feel like it...gosh.